last night as a screamed like a young girl and hid from bat that i was sure was going to attack me i remembered how greatful i am for my husband. a truth that  i dont acknowledge often enough. with a head as thick as a brick wall and the inability to understand what ever goes on in my head/ mood. sometimes i think awful thoughts about leaving, but i know i have no where to go and would be no better off. he is where i belong, and i just need to work harder and pulling my weight and explaining my feelings to him.