broken
defeated
burned out
worn down
lost
trapped
emotionally drained.
in the wrong place
heart hurting

when you are going along and for the most part think you are doing well. to go to the dr. and be told that you are doing so many things wrong. that you are putting up with things you shouldnt be worrying about and that the things you do to relax are actually stimulating you is kind of frightening. many things i have been doing, like staying up late on the internet and watching tv are bad but to be told that the book reading and meditation talks arent doing what they should be is upsetting. well its time to make some small changes again

feeling conflicted in so many ways. to get a new dog or not, to continue with public school or not. how to encourage a healthier life style for the entire family. it is also intensely difficult to continue being sooo over scheduled, when i crave peace and quiet. with no one to talk to i just mull it over and over in mind. but with a complete lack of confidence i am never sure if i am making the right decision.